The One That Got Away

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Behold… today’s insanity.

She’s implying that Allahyarham K h a i r u l  A z n a m, a boy we both knew when we were still schoolgirls, is “the one who got away” for her.

Let me set, her revisionist history straight.. since this a place that honours facts and the truth and all… 😅

Allahyarham was a very popular boy in VI ~ handsome, personable, fun to be with. At the time even (the then not-yet-famous)  S o f e a   J a n e   H i s h a m  was ga-ga over him.  We had all bonded at a B T N course. Acik Perasan developed a crush on him and started calling him non-stop after that. Allahyarham was kind enough to entertain her, to humour her… He confided in here about all his relationships, his crushes, his feelings for other girls… but in Acik Perasan’s mind, they had something special. Sadly, Allahyarham passed away in his sleep, a few days after Aidilfitri 1997.  It was said that he had suffered a high fever (believed to be meningitis?) a couple of days before that.  He was a good egg, and you know wot they say about the good dying young.. 😭

Even after all these years, because of the lack of sparkle in her life (I presume!) she loves to create melodrama around the anniversary of his passing. The way she speaks of him is as though they had something going. That she was special to him in a “more than friends” way.  He certainly was special to her, in her mind he was her ‘boyfriend’.  At the time of his passing, he was interested in someone else… I know the name of the girl, who is now married (of course) with children. He confided all this in Acik Perasan Tak Hengat (henceforth to be known as APTH)… but noooooooOOOoOOOO… in her mind, Allahyarham  A z n a m  had feelings for her.

He prolly would turn in his grave if he knew how she is going on about him to all and sundry now ~ implying that they had something “going on” of a romantic nature back then.

May you rest in peace and be placed with those whom He favours, mon ami.

إن لله وإن إليه راجعون

اللهم اغفرله وارحمه وعافه واعف عنه

 

Kalah Tanpa Bertanding

iMessage exchange with Acik Perasan Tak Hengat…

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Wot’s rich is that she thinks she was actually IN. THE. RUNNING. to be JLY’s squeeze.

And the casual way she says:

“.. but you know with each man, there’s that one woman friend of his that just rubs you the wrong way..”

Like SHE’S the girlfriend and she has to contend with JLY’s female friends who “rub her the wrong way”. Tak cukup space in my tengkorak to roll my eyes at this woman… OMG!! 🤦🏻‍♀️

 

Antara Pundek dan Kaymark

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Rupa dah gaya MAKCIK JLY ko boleh perasan nak END UP with him? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

She met him over a period of 3 days when she went to watch his show in LA. Yesterday she told me that it was her “mensiversary”. I asked apakepundek is a “mensiversary” (inwardly groaning whilst at it). Apparently yesterday marked one whole month since she met him. “Kisah cinta” 3 malam la sangaaaat….

Mokcik Perasan:  Our story is very much like ‘Antara Anyir Dan Jakarta’.

Me: Errm.. the song goes:

Antara Anyir dan Jakarta

KITA jatuh cinta

You fell in love.. he did NOT. You are his fan-friend. That’s it.

Mokcik Perasan: Don’t care lah. To me the hurt is still the same.

Well… you brought this situation upon yourself. I did tell you to manage your expectations. In which frakkin’ UNIVERSE will you end up with him? Ko tu bukan 14 anymore, 46 in a matter of days, OK? 🙄

I seriously question the validity of a political party that would employ someone who is so out of touch with reality. Yes, Parti Bunga, I’m looking at all y’all.

Muffdiver Ke?

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Habis lawa dah ni lah kan?

Some of my friends saw these pics of #psychobiatch #perasannakmampos and said that she looks like a pengkid (dyke). They have a point, whither femininity?

Dahlah perasan she is gorgeous enough to bother without make-up? Typical Melayu bibir tebal look ko nak perasan ko lawa? Tak cukup space dalam tengkorak aku ni to roll my eyes back mendengar statement ko, tahu tak? (Yes, she did say that to me in an iMessage exchange… “Akak tau la akak lawa” 😤 Pass the baldi, please!)

Eh… Cermin kat IKEA bukannya mahal lah…. Acu2 lah pergi beli barang ser dua… 🙄

Chinny Chin Chin

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So you and your many chins think I am only worth of your sepah? (In the first place bila masa dan bila mana ko ever date Arjun Rampal? 🙄 In your MIND, just like you are in a “relationship” with John Lloyd Young now? LMAO)

Well… at least I have a REAL husband who professes to love me, who takes care of me and keeps me warm at night.

What do YOU have? An IMAGINARY relationship with a Tony Award-winning Broadway star?  Ko mungkin takde cermin kat rumah ko tapi rasanya mamat tu belum buta lagi…

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

It’s utterly TRAGIC.

You’re already 46 but still living with your head in the clouds, in your fanciful dreams that have no chance of ever becoming reality.